Coffee Anonymous

I keep re-realizing how hopped up caffeine makes me. I think to myself, "Wow, I seem really anxious and edgy, what changed." Well I had a cup of coffee (and I have to confess, cherry coke) an hour ago...hmm. Now there is the initial friendly energy boost, but then I come down off that and I'm tired and not friendly.

Really, this is probably the tenth time I've thought to myself that I need to quit the hard stuff. I've tried to figure out why I have trouble giving it up. It seems to be something I punctuate my day with. A small reward for getting through the morning, a comfort food in the evening, a social activity, and I like to be a coffee snob. Now, mind you I'm only drinking a cup a day (five out of seven days a week). However I do notice the slippery slope. I think I can handle a second cup or a that a soda isn't the same thing so I can go ahead and drink it. When you see/hear that in black and white it sounds a heckuva lot like an alchoholic. I am continuing to do something that has negative repercussions. I'm sure my family feels that those negatives impact them also. Cutting out the coffee would get rid of extra calories and I would probably have an easier time going to bed early. I've noticed lately that while I do love the taste, it's just not making me as happy anymore. So I do it out of habit or compunction.

SO. What I need are ideas for replacement behaviors. Now I keep trying to substitute tea...it just doesn't have the same punchy taste, weak sauce. Of course, there's always just water. Which would no doubt be healthiest. It just doesn't have that special treat quality. I also try just decaf (which we all know doesn't taste right) but then I cheat and go to Starbucks b/c their decaf has so much caffeine. This also costs more money and drives my husband insane. I need a new habit/ritual. Of course it totally doesn't help that I live in the Pacific Northwest where we are serious about our coffee and that we have a local small batch roaster up the street that makes great coffee. But this is not about those things it's about my mental health and that should be more important. Right?!

So this blog entry is part of my intervention for myself. Hello, my name is Justina and I am a coffee-holic.